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Mitch Hedberg, RIP

Wow, I just read that Mitch Hedberg died Wednesday night. His comedy is one of my favorite styles, made famous by the great Steven Wright. He had his own style, breaking away from witty one-liners when needed.

Samples follow in the extended entry; they do contain strong language.

Update: Every hour on Saturday XM Comedy (channel 150) will feature a routine by Mitch Hedberg in tribute and then on Sunday night they will replay his Stand Up Sit Down interview with Sonny Fox. And immediately after that they are going to air one of his concerts, uninterrupted.

Quotes from wikiquote

Sometimes I wave to people I don’t know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know, because what if they don’t have a hand? They’ll think you’re cocky. “Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful…I’m gonna go pick something up.”

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said “I hear music.” As though there’s any other way to take it in. You’re not special. That’s how I receive it too…I tried to taste it, but it did not work…

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see a escalator temporarily outta order sign, just escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience… we appologize for the fact that you can still get up there”

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

I went to the store to buy a candle holder, but they were out. So I bought a cake.

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

I was in Downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, ‘cuz ducks ain’t s’posed to be downtown. There’s nothin’ for ’em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, “Let me have a bun.” But she wouldn’t sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it’s against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain’t supposed to touch. So I said, “Alright, well, put some lettuce on it,” which she did. She said, “That’ll be $1.75.” I said, “It’s for a duck.” And they said, “Alright, well, that is free.” See, I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. “Let me have the Steak Fajita Sub – but don’t bother ringing it up, it’s for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!”

I hate turtle necks. I have such a weak neck. Plus if you wear a turtle neck it’s like being strangled by a really weak guy… all day. And if you wear a turtle neck and a backpack it’s like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I tried to throw away a yo-yo. It was fucking impossible.

One reason I love my XM Radio is that I have heard just about every one of the jokes listed by wikiquote on there in the 8 months I’ve had it. Its also turned me on to new comedians: Etta May (sp?), and Rodney Carrington to name two…I’d name more but I’m usually on the road when I hear them and forget the names by the time I get home :-O


About James

I am a Senior Developer/Consultant for InfoPlanIT, LLC. I previously spent over 7 years as a Product Manager for what eventually became ComponentOne, a division of GrapeCity. While there, I helped to create ActiveReports 7, GrapeCity ActiveAnalysis, and Data Dynamics Reports.


One thought on “Mitch Hedberg, RIP

  1. I love the joke he cracks about “ducks eat free at Subway”. It is soooooo f**king funny! Every time it comes on Shorties Watching Shorties, I alwas blast the volume, and call my friends to watch it, cause they love that short. I always want subway and sunchips when I watch it. >^w^

    Posted by mandi | April 6, 2005, 7:54 am

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