I just got a letter in the mail today purporting to be from the “Johnson Reunion Committee” out of Atlanta, GA. I know my grandfather’s sister lives somewhere in Georgia so it wasn’t entirely surprising to see that address. The letter follows the break as does my comments
JOHNSON FAMILY REUNION ’06 UPDATE
Hi to all y’all Johnsons out there,
Now, I know what a lot of y’all are thinking: “Brenda promised not to miss two family reunions in a row.” But I’m stuck in the tar pits of Los Angeles again this year. So…everyone at the reunion will just have to make do with Mama, Daddy, my brothers, two sister-in-laws, three nephews [sic] and two nieces once again this year.
I hate these impersonal mass letters, but I figure it’s the best way for me to catch all of y’all up at once. For those of you who don’t know, I moved from Atlanta to LA last year to serve as the Deputy Chief in charge of the Los Angeles Police Department’s Priority Murder Squad. It seems that I’m doing so well at my job that I’m now on a TV show called THE CLOSER on TNT. Watch and tell me what you think about my new hairdo. The premiere of my new show is on Monday, June 12 at 9 p.m. (that’s 8 p.m. in Central) on TNT and they’re showing it with no commercials.
They have a different lifestyle out here in California: a little too laid back for my taste. And they tend to slow down some when they talk to me (I guess because of my Georgia accent and all). But the weather’s really nice, and I’m starting to make friends. I feel like I’m finally “getting into the groove,” to use one of their silly LA sayings. And, yes, they do say “Dude,” a lot. It drives me nutty.
Even though I’ve been a little lonely at times and there have been a few more work challenges than I anticipated, it’s a highly rewarding job. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been coaxing a lot of confessions out of suspects in the interrogation room. After watching me close case after case, I think the LAPD is glad they hired me.
Some of the folks here had a hard time accepting me at first, but I think they’re starting to get used to me. A few of these darn detectives could irritate the horns off a billygoat with their chauvinistic comments, but overall I think we’ve got a good team. I’m really proud of the work we’ve done.
In other news, I haven’t talked to Hart since we divorced, and I’m back to proudly usuing the Johnson family name. I also have a new cat named Kitty. Oh, and please don’t tell my Mama, but my FBI agent boyfriend asked me to move in with him. (Heaven knows what I’m going to do about it, but I thought y’all should know.) Don’t forget to watch “The Closer” this summer and let me know how you think I’m doing out here. Log on to tnt.tv to tell me what you think.
Hope you eat a big helping of Momo’s banana pudding and Aunt Valerie’s pecan pie for me. I miss y’all to death!
Brenda Leigh Johnson
So it looks like the marketing folks at TNT did a mass mailing to all Johnson’s. I don’t know what their scope was, but except for a few details that kept me rereading the letter I would have though I had a distant relative that was an actress on The Closer.
Of course there were a few things that tipped me off that this was a gimmick. Mainly that the writer says they took a job with the LAPD but now they’re going to be on The Closer, a fiction TV show. The second thing that got me was that the writer says the detectives treat her like she’s stupid because of the southern accent. That is probably the only thing I remember from seeing promos late at night while watching X-Files. Finally, a quick IMDB search confirms that “Brenda Leigh Johnson” is the main character on the show played, by Kyra Sedgwick.
I wonder how many people are going to come into work Monday morning and tell their co-workers they have a relative on a TV show 🙂